1. A diet cola is satisfying all the time.
2. You can dump a diet cola when you've had enough.
3. It generally lasts longer.
4. It's available in a variety of size.
5. You only need one.
6. Diet cola comes in a can, not in your mouth.
7. When you swallow a diet cola, you only get 1 calorie.
8. A diet cola doesn't dirty your sheets or dishes.
9. A diet cola will silently and patiently wait for you.
10. You can ignore a diet cola for days and it will still be there when you want it.
11. A diet cola respects you as much at night as it does in the morning.
12. When you swallow a diet cola, it doesn't leave an aftertaste in your mouth.
13. People don't talk if you've had 3 or 4 of them.
14. No privacy is needed to enjoy one.
15. Even if you spill one in bed, it won't make you sleep in a wet spot.
16. You can have a headache and enjoy it.